Solidarity

I have a new mommy friend. She is a lovely, talented woman. And, like many of us, sometimes she struggles with the work-life balance.

We emailed back and forth the other day, and I made her laugh by asking her to leave a bread-crumb trail to wherever she locates "work-life" balance, as my map didn't have that location clearly marked.

Now I have high standards. Yes, you all nod. Fine, I have VERY high standards. I like to joke that I'm not anal, I just have standards (implying that others don't...). Because really, is it too much to expect that I can walk barefoot in my own home without food sticking to the bottom of my feet? I didn't think so.

But sometimes I realize that I am too tough on myself. I know my friends are, too. (tough on themselves, not me, that is!)

Gentle readers, do you think that the mythical creature known as "work-life balance" can be found? Is it really just an elaborate juggling act, keeping the balls in the air long enough to touch - ever so briefly - just one thing at a time? Because from what I've learned lately, multi-tasking slows you down.

Maybe the solution is just being "in the moment" - I know, that's so freaking zen I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. Ptooey.

But really, all jokes aside, maybe we should just try to be good at whatever the hell we're doing at that particular moment, and ignore the rest. Ignore the mommy guilt that is egging you on.

SO WHAT if the bed is unmade. No one but your prying neighbors need know. Hell, just buy better blinds so no one can see!

SO WHAT if the kids eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches every day, instead of lovingly prepared gourmet bento-boxes of organically raised whatever. Buy organic bread and soynut butter if you can, and be happy that they'll deign to eat anything at all! (picky toddlers are normal, from what I can tell. who knew! thought mine was just being - well, difficult!)

SO WHAT if the other kids on the bus have cute outfits on. Your kid's private bits are covered in clean clothing? Good enough. Besides, letting them pick out their own clothing encourages independence, leadership, and creativity.

All the mommies (and daddies, this isn't gender specific, although I DO think there is a thumb on the guilt scale for women) together now - raise your fist in the air! United in giving up the guilt? United in enjoying the moment instead of thinking about the kindegarten application-hell you'll be in if your kid doesn't get accepted to pre-k? (that last one's not just me, right?) United in enjoying this process, even if it's messy as hell and these damn kids didn't come with owner manuals? ALL RIGHT THEN!

ALl right then. Solidarity. We're all in this together.

Now, can anyone find that bread crumb trail?