Soggy

This morning Monkey and I were running behind schedule.

Usually this would be my fault, for not waking up early enough to shower and blowdry my hair and try to look like a professional milf rather than a frumpy mom, but today it was Monkey dragging her feet on everything.

And I do mean everything:

She threw a temper tantrum when I tried to put her pants on BEFORE her shoes. So yeah, um, let's just say that her leggings are a wee bit stretched out now.

She begged for her bottle and then threw it on the ground when she got it. I'm thinking maybe she was expecting Veuve Cliquot champagne instead of warmed Rice Milk?

She'd ask for "puffs" (fancy gerber cereal treats shaped in a star) and then keen with anger and disappointment because the puffs I gave her weren't the precise ones she wanted. She wanted the other puffs from the other container, didn't I know that?

Once she got the puffs she REALLY wanted (sheesh mom!), she insisted on eating them with a fork. Hilarious, really, watching her spear each gerber puff and then try to get it into her mouth. I was impressed that she was precise enough with the fork to get that done. But it did take a really looooog time to eat. Plus: 1/3 shattered and went all over her, her highchair, and the floor; 1/3 fell off the fork onto the floor; 1/3 she actually consumed. Woo hoo, I got to wash the floor, again!

So long story short, we were running too late to walk to school. I loaded Monkey into the Ergo baby carrier, and away we went.

Only problem? I brought a sippy cup full of water with us, stored inside her lunch box, just in case she got thirsty on the way. Or, you know, in case the subway lost power and we got stuck underground for a few hours....not that I worry about these things, really!

Unfortunately for me, the sippy cup I grabbed is one of the leaky ones. And in the kerfuffle of the morning commute, the lunchbox was turned on its side and smashed against my back. Where the sippy cup leaked its contents the entire way, soaking my coat, my shirt, my pants, and yes, my underwear.

Nice.