So today was Monkey's first "day" of montessori school/daycare. Actually, she only went for one hour (less, thanks to the MTA's f'd up system this morning, but I digress...) as part of the "phase - in" process. More on that, later, too! (good lord, feeling like Hamlet here with all my asides....)
The State of New York is insane. Certifiably. As a recovering lawyer, I know that we live in a litigious society, and as a result we are often regulated to death. Hell, I used to make a living because of that! But seriously folks, this morning killed me.
Along with our beloved Nanny, who is helping us with this infernal phase-in, Monkey and I went to her school this morning. I dropped off enough supplies to outfit an armada seeking new shores, and in that 40lb bag o' stuff was a container of liquid tylenol (generic, but I was having trouble spelling aceti...aceto...acetam...oh never mind you know what I mean, screw the trademark issue). This was immediately fished out by one of Monkey's teachers and brought to the attention of the Lead Teacher. Because, yes, folks, I need a written medical release form FROM THE DOCTOR saying it is ok to give my daughter tylenol when she is teething and pitching a fit. (see earlier post re: going nuclear).
Ok, ok, I get it. Too much tylenol can cause problems - liver damage, etc. (oh nice, a google search gives me this: In acute acetaminophen overdosage, dose-dependent, potentially fatal hepatic necrosis is the most serious adverse effect. Renal tubular necrosis, hypoglycemic coma and thrombocytopenia may also occur...yummy) . So on that one, fine - doctor's note, no problem.
But get this.......desitin (aka butt cream) ALSO requires a medical consent form!
FOR THE LOVE OF G*D....you mean I need permission from the doctor instructing you on how to spread zinc oxide on my daughter's arse to prevent diaper rash? No, no, they rapidly assured me. (Phew, I thought, that was close to being worthy of this blog.) But then, they went on - no, no, we only need a medical permission form filled out by YOU, not you AND the doctor. Turns out that desitin is an "over the counter" drug and therefore regulated, requiring permission. Sunblock, too, apparently.
Oh. (Heh. Yup, this one's going on the blog.)
So I get to spend 20 minutes filling out two two-page forms to give them permission to do two profoundly innocuous activities: apply butt cream & sunblock. Got it. Good use of my time, I'd say. An even better use of their time - since I imagine they'll have to check the forms each time they change a wet and/or stinky diaper! Yes yes, by all means, let my daughter wail away and wallow in her own excrement while you check the legal files.
Sigh. And people wonder why I'm a recovering lawyer.
1 comment:
But what about the hair gel? I am thinking she might need some hair products during the day...or a hair band..which could release itself and snap her or others in the eye...Golly, there are so many hidden horrors to preschool.
I say bubble wrap her (except for breathing space, of course) and make sure she brings her paperwork from her lawyer AND her DR and possibly a social worker/liason if need be.
I have heard that Montessori is "hands on learning" so I guess you could look at this as a "big world" learning experience. HA!
Oh, and for the record, back in the olden days (yes, when my kids went to preschool)we were allowed to pack all of the mentioned products (desitin, tylenol) and drop them off without a permission slip. But then again, this is Minnesota and we also drove them to preschool on a tractor without seatbelts.
Oh, don't you know (said in my best South Western MN accent)....
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