What happens to you if you fail to flee to the suburbs after procreating

I'm from the midwest. There, in the land of sing-song norweigan accents, corn, smiling faces and grocery store clerks that always ask "so, how are ya?," daycare is a simpler thing. You have a child, call a few places, and when you go back to work, you bring your kid to the daycare you have selected with some diapers and formula/frozen breast milk, kiss them goodbye and then hop in your car as quickly as possible to drown out the wailing as you drive away to work. Fast forward about 8 hours, return from work and retrieve your child. Next day, same thing. Wash, rinse, repeat.

Here? No such luck. Here, in the city that I adore, daycare is a wee bit more difficult.

If you dare to stay in the city, and do not immediately flee to the suburbs after peeing on a stick and reading the tea leaves to ascertain that you are - indeed - knocked up, if you choose to raise your child in this city of sin and iniquity (heh, sin), then you more likely than not will have to suffer through what is euphemistically called the "phase-in" process at your daycare. At first I thought that was some strange rite of passage at only montessori daycares, but apparently it's contagious and all daycares are in on the collective madness.

Yes, of course, you could opt to use a nanny (or babysitter, you choose the term) for your little one. We did, but then we got into our first choice in daycare, a wonderful montessori that makes me want to regress so that I too can play with "manipulatives" (toys) have snacktime, naptime, and playing in the park time. (I'll talk about the nanny experience some other time, I'm sure.)

So we signed up, sent in a check, and looked forward to the start of the school year.

That's right, we waited for the start of the school year. All "new" kids start at school (daycare) the same day. So rather than being able to simply drop off the kid - you "phase in" the child.

First day, one hour.
Second day, two hours.
Third day, three hours.....
but, at any given point in time, if the child is not settling in well? They call you and you must immediatley retrieve your recalcitrant child. So essentially you either run the risk of needing to use all your vacation days, or, you have to have a backup plan. Montessori PLUS a nanny, or a grandma, etc. When does this process end? When the child successfully naps at school.

So, if have a child that doesn't like to nap (yes, hello, MONKEY, I am talking about you! my insane toddler declines to nap if there is an-eee-thing interesting going on) this process could go on all month long. Alllllll moooooonnnnntttthhhhh loooooooooonnnnnnngggggggggggg. Got a headache from reading that? You are welcome.

We are not even to day one yet. Last Thursday & Friday were "trial runs" with Monkey and some other newbies hanging out together for an hour, while mom/dad/caregivers were still in the room.

Tomorrow is day one. G*d help me, but if Monkey takes more than the month of September to "phase-in" to school I am going to...insert empty threat....

Also, the the whole starting on the same day thing? It means that if you have a child that is too young for the cutoff in September....you can't get the kid in for another YEAR. The term family planning takes on a whole new meaning here.

Crazy.