The look

Jellybean has decided that she doesn't like to wear (regular) dresses.

She wears leggings and tshirts. And occasionally frothy tulle skirts layered over the leggings. And then a see-through tulle dress over that, too. And ballerina costumes, with 18 necklaces layered on top of it.

It's the hobo princess look!

Princesses

My princess

So here’s the thing.

My brother and his lovely wife G have a history of sending awesome, yet totally (how shall I say this politely? Urm…) ANNOYING presents to Monkey.

A set of bongo drums.
A harmonica.
A tambourine.
Etc.

Now, mind you, each of these items was selected with love, and sent with hopes that she, like they (and their beautiful kids), would appreciate the music she could make! The beautiful noises and sounds and thumps and squeaks – just all the NOISE that a joyful toddler can make. (Clearly they live in a house, on a lot, without annoyed neighbors pressing in close and listening through walls and ceilings and floors.)

But really? All joking aside? These presents are awesome. I think Jellybean likes them even more than Monkey; watching Jellybean figure out how to use the harmonica has been charming. To date, she can make it work by sucking in, but blowing out still confounds her. It is hilarious! But I digress….

This year they did not go the musical-annoy-the-neighbors route. Nope. Instead, they sent….. an ENTIRE BOX OF PRINCESS COSTUMES. (By Disney, of course)

AN ENTIRE BOX. With 23 or more pieces to keep track of. Color coordinated tops and skirts. Necklaces and tiaras and rings and earrings and lions and tigers, and bears OH MY.

Monkey about had an aneurysm with pleasure when she opened this box up.

On the other hand, I confess that my first reaction was not as positive. It’s not that I don’t like princesses – I do! It’s just that, well, it pisses me off that Disney always kills the mom off, the sought-after fairytale ending is always getting married, and most of all? Most of the kids toys “The Rat” produces are poorly made. Just dreck. Sh*t that falls apart the first time you use it. Built to self-destruct so that you need to buy another one to replace it.

And that really bothers me. I bought a beautiful castle with Monkey’s name in vinyl wall art from elephannie on etsy, and it is beautiful! I hung it with pride, with love, without wondering just how many seconds would pass before it fell apart and broke my daughter’s heart. The Disney stuff? I think it’s all going to break her heart as it falls apart in her hands. How am I supposed to explain profit margins to a 4 year old, when she is sad and angry that her favorite things fall apart?

Until that happens, however, I am going to watch Monkey, with my heart in my mouth, enchanted by her behavior. She’s so in love with these silly princess outfits, it takes my breath away.

When Monkey puts away her costumes, even with her mom and dad rushing rushing rushing her to just get to bed already? She slows down, and lays out each item with such care and reverence you would think she was holding items spun from gossamer and gold. Priceless yet infinitely fragile. Watching her put each item away in its allotted space is like watching a Japanese tea ceremony. No unnecessary motion is made. She is poetry and grace.

She IS a princess.

Princess Fever

It appears that Monkey isn't the only one afflicted with Princess fever. Here's her best friend from school, sportin' the Snow White costume. Which she wore to school every.single.day....for two weeks! ha

My imaginary friend

When I was little, I had an imaginary friend named "Mousie." She was, you'll be surprised to hear, a mouse. And I would pretend to be a mouse, too, and bite my cousins when they did annoying things like pile all of the cushions from the patio furniture on top of me and then sit on it. You know, since my mouth was the only thing not pinned down. But I digress about the biting...

The point is, I had an imaginary friend.

Now, recently Monkey has been obsessed with Princesses. Really, I mean obsessed. It's like my very own version of Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Aliens landed and replaced my child with one that only.wants.princessy.things. ALL.THE.TIME.

Princess shoes. Princess toys. Princess books. sheets. underwear. tiaras. costumes. wands. dolls. castles. toothpaste. toothbrushes. headbands. etc.......

So, when Monkey came home from school and started telling me stories about Yasmine, I figured she had read something about Jasmine (from Aladdin), and had an imginary princess friend!

Imagine my surprise when she introduced me to Yasmine....her new friend in late care at her Montessori.

Whoops. And here I thought you were just telling tales!

I am not good at hiding things, apparently....

Getting Monkey out the door this morning was was tough.

She is getting a new (bunk) bed so she and Jellybean can share a room. So, to sweeten the pot (fine, BRIBE HER), we purchased some truly gawdawful "Princess Sheets."

This morning, Monkey found the princess sheets (no clue why she was digging to the bottom of the pile of clean laundry!!!) and went NUTZ with happiness. She wore them around the house like a robe, rolled on the floor, kissed and snuggled them, and basically ignored me while she petted her beloved sheets.
35 minutes later, we left.

Scrap Heap

For a long time, Monkey's been into Robots. Robot pajamas, robot books, robot flashcards, robot movies....and robot artwork. Anything about robots, she loved.

Now, alas, I fear they've been scrapped for the almighty PRINCESS obsession. (I confess, I like robots better. But it's not about me.)

A few years back I found this awesome robot print off of Etsy. It's cool. And it's hung with place of pride in Monkey's room ever since she moved into the Big Girl Room. (It was also in her nursery....)

Until about a week ago.

Monkey asked me to take it down. Even insisting that I remove the nail from the wall - as if she knew I might sneak back in, once she was asleep, to rehang the offending piece of artwork. (wha...me? crap, my kid knows me too well already!)

When I asked her why, she told me it was because it was "looking at her all night."

When M asked the same question, a few days after I took it down, he got the exact same answer. Only, he asked how she knew that at night, the robot didn't close its eyes?

Monkey gave him a look, and said, " because it's not REAL, daddy...." The funny part was that you could literally HEAR her eyeballs rolling around as she told him this.....

Microeconomics

Monkey is really really REALLLLLY into princesses these days. And, while I certainly didn’t start this obsession (I’ve no clue what the Disney Princesses names are, except Cinderella. And is Snow White a princess or what? It’s rather confusing to me….someone pass me my toolbelt, I want to go tinker and fix something…) I haven’t quashed it, either. If she wants to be a princess, then so be it. It’s better than wanting to be a reality TV star, right? Right. Ha. (and for the record? The first person that lets her watch a reality TV show is excommunicated. No joke. That crap’ll shrivel your brain.)

Most of the time, this princess obsession leads to silly conversations about magic wands, and the wearing of twirly dresses and sparkly shoes. No problem!

Unfortunately, sometimes the princess obsession leads us into rather………..um………..interesting conversations.

For example, the other morning Monkey announced to me that since she was a princess, she “NEEDED” a castle. Not sure what prompted that, but I immediately put down the NYTimes Real Estate Section (ooh, busted) and addressed her “need.”

I attempted to gently explain that since castles are rare, they’re hard to find and even harder to buy. Monkey wasn’t having it.

“But I NEED one mom, I’m a PRINCESS.”

Guess my microeconomics lesson on scarcity isn’t working.

I know her!

Monkey is hilarious.

We were talking about the (of course, gawd can I gag now puhleese?) Disney Princesses the other day, and I suggested that she could be Belle since she has brown hair, and cousin E could be Ariel with the red hair, and Jellybean could be Cinderella with the blonde hair, as could HP and.....

.....then Jellybean about jumped out of my arms because that's what she likes to do and my mouth stopped working as I prevented my youngest child from ending her short life by impaling herself on...something....

And as my mouth stopped working Monkey filled in the blank, saying "B, mom. B. I KNOW HER."

(like um DUH, old lady, I know who my blonde bombshell cousins are, sheesh!).

Awww.