It is official. Mommy got a time out this morning. We were eating breakfast together, and I reached over to help myself to a piece of her dried mango. Well, apparently that infraction was going to go down on my permanent record, because Monkey gave me a time out.
"Time out Mommy, no mango. Time out!"
When I asked her if she was giving Mommy a time out, she said (with great gusto and vigor) YES!
But when I asked her why I was getting the time out (to see if the no mango rule would continue) do you know what she did? She shifted her eyes left and right, in William Shatner-like overacting, as she said "hmmmmm..." and tried to come up with a rationale. I swear to g*d, she was trying to make something up!
I about feel off my chair laughing. It's official, that kid is just bottled insanity. And I love it. Of course, next time I give her a time out and she starts laughing, I might regret this morning....
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Thursday, June 19, 2008
No, Mommy
This morning was almost perfect.
M and I got up on time, in and out of the shower on time, got to eat our breakfasts in peace (Monkey was sleeping in, hence the peace), and when daddy finally woke up Monkey she was smiling and happy. God, I love mornings like this!
Only then it went downhill when I tried to depant Monkey to 1) change her diaper that was so oversoaked it looked like she had a bowling ball hanging down under her butt and 2) get her in her clothes for school.
That's when the "no, Mommy"s began. Again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again,and again,and again,and again,and again,and again,and again,and again,and again,and again,and again,and again,and again, and I can I stop typing that because you get the idea? Oh thank g*d. (ever notice if you type or say a word too many times it starts to sound like nonsense? or is that just me?)
So, we compromised. She wore her jammies t-shirt under some cute overalls....and, in the interest of world peace and getting to work before 10am, after I put the overalls on Monkey I put the pants to her jammies on OVER her clothes.
And that is how she went to the last day of school for the year. How much do you want to bet at least one of the teacher's brought a camera?
M and I got up on time, in and out of the shower on time, got to eat our breakfasts in peace (Monkey was sleeping in, hence the peace), and when daddy finally woke up Monkey she was smiling and happy. God, I love mornings like this!
Only then it went downhill when I tried to depant Monkey to 1) change her diaper that was so oversoaked it looked like she had a bowling ball hanging down under her butt and 2) get her in her clothes for school.
That's when the "no, Mommy"s began. Again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again,and again,and again,and again,and again,and again,and again,and again,and again,and again,and again,and again,and again, and I can I stop typing that because you get the idea? Oh thank g*d. (ever notice if you type or say a word too many times it starts to sound like nonsense? or is that just me?)
So, we compromised. She wore her jammies t-shirt under some cute overalls....and, in the interest of world peace and getting to work before 10am, after I put the overalls on Monkey I put the pants to her jammies on OVER her clothes.
And that is how she went to the last day of school for the year. How much do you want to bet at least one of the teacher's brought a camera?
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
A new sherriff is in town
I think I've blogged about the bizarre love triangles at Monkey's daycare/school before...needless to say the social complexities of a classroom full of toddlers never ceases to amaze me!
It used to be that Monkey loved Roman, who loved Filipa, who didn't love Roman, while Caleb loved Monkey and so on and so forth....
Well, there's a new sherriff in town. Monkey now favors Caleb.
Last night, at school pick-up, Caleb's mom and I left at the same time and walked together a bit. The kids were happy and chattering, and Monkey even shared her everything bagel with Caleb. We got to the front of Caleb's apartment building, and it was time for them to go in while we continued on our way.
We said our goodbyes, and left.
Monkey was bereft.
She wanted Caleb back, and mourned his absence for a good ten blocks. She was crying out CALEB so piteously at one point that a kindly grandmother clucked, shook her head, and said "oh poor baby, you've lost your toy Caleb..." I had to giggle and explain that no, Caleb was Monkey's boyfriend. Grandma's face was priceless as she tried not to also laugh.
Like I said, a new sherriff's in town. But wait, next week it might be Daniel who has won the favor of Monkey's heart....love's a fickle thing in a 22 month old!
It used to be that Monkey loved Roman, who loved Filipa, who didn't love Roman, while Caleb loved Monkey and so on and so forth....
Well, there's a new sherriff in town. Monkey now favors Caleb.
Last night, at school pick-up, Caleb's mom and I left at the same time and walked together a bit. The kids were happy and chattering, and Monkey even shared her everything bagel with Caleb. We got to the front of Caleb's apartment building, and it was time for them to go in while we continued on our way.
We said our goodbyes, and left.
Monkey was bereft.
She wanted Caleb back, and mourned his absence for a good ten blocks. She was crying out CALEB so piteously at one point that a kindly grandmother clucked, shook her head, and said "oh poor baby, you've lost your toy Caleb..." I had to giggle and explain that no, Caleb was Monkey's boyfriend. Grandma's face was priceless as she tried not to also laugh.
Like I said, a new sherriff's in town. But wait, next week it might be Daniel who has won the favor of Monkey's heart....love's a fickle thing in a 22 month old!
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
SHR(&)CASS
So Monkey is fast approaching the terrible twos. She throws tantrums for no apparent reason, and then - if properly distracted - switches right back to the happiest kid on earth. It's like watching a split personality; you could get dizzy trying to keep track of which emotion is in control!
But what really entertains me is Monkey's recent adoption of the personality of Supreme High Ruler & Commander of All She Surveys (SHR&CASS for short).
SHR&CASS comes out when something happens and Monkey disapproves. For example, SHR&CASS this morning directed that we walk on the OTHER side of the street.
OTHER SIDE OTHER SIDE my g*d woman don't you understand it is imperative that we walk on the OTHER SIDE of the street? I crossed the street and all was well.
Plus, Ollie (our beleagured cat) dared to sniff Monkey's cheerios the other morning. Monkey, I mean SHR&CASS, immediately demanded that the foul cat STEP AWAY FROM THE CHEERIOS FORTHWITH. (ok, on this one I don't blame her, Ollie really did look like she was about to take a nibble...)
And, interstingly, SHR&CASS now dictates which outfits (including jammies) shall be worn. And not just by Monkey. SHR&CASS dictates that Taz (Monkey's stuffed animal toy from Hobart, Tazmania that is....yes, a Tasmanian Devil) wear a specific necklace around the apartment.
SHR&CASS dresses the devil. Need I say more?
But what really entertains me is Monkey's recent adoption of the personality of Supreme High Ruler & Commander of All She Surveys (SHR&CASS for short).
SHR&CASS comes out when something happens and Monkey disapproves. For example, SHR&CASS this morning directed that we walk on the OTHER side of the street.
OTHER SIDE OTHER SIDE my g*d woman don't you understand it is imperative that we walk on the OTHER SIDE of the street? I crossed the street and all was well.
Plus, Ollie (our beleagured cat) dared to sniff Monkey's cheerios the other morning. Monkey, I mean SHR&CASS, immediately demanded that the foul cat STEP AWAY FROM THE CHEERIOS FORTHWITH. (ok, on this one I don't blame her, Ollie really did look like she was about to take a nibble...)
And, interstingly, SHR&CASS now dictates which outfits (including jammies) shall be worn. And not just by Monkey. SHR&CASS dictates that Taz (Monkey's stuffed animal toy from Hobart, Tazmania that is....yes, a Tasmanian Devil) wear a specific necklace around the apartment.
SHR&CASS dresses the devil. Need I say more?
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Happy Father's Day
Tomorrow is father's day. And I can't even BEGIN to tell you how wonderful my mother's day present was....and how I have nothing. M even mockingly accused me of forgetting! And it isn't like I really did forget, I just couldn't think of anything special that would make his day. Last year I got him custom-made sterling silver cufflinks with Monkey's birth statistics and wee little bare footprints on them. Super cool. Hard to surpass. Sigh.
So this year? This year M gets love. I think that might suffice.
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