My brother is responsible for (ok, half responsible, his wife G had *cough* something to do with her, too!) producing one of the most adorable babies on earth, HP. And yes, I am biased. (and for all my other beloved babies? back off, I said "one"!!!...)
Her first birthday is fast approaching, and I have been ruminating on what to send her. After all, I (along with Aunt B) share the preferred status of favorite Auntie. We are allowed to spoil HP with abandon, AND teach her drinking games. Grandparents only get to do the first thing. (um, kidding, kind of....)
I was thinking about the gift my brother and G sent to Monkey for her first birthday. It is a xylophone shaped like a crocodile. When you pull it around its eyes goggle up and down.....and boy, can Monkey bang out a mean tune on that thing! (add in the keyboard from Grandma and all we need is someone on guitar to form our own band - yeehaw!).
I was thinking that this gift, this noisy, noisy and did I mention noisy? gift, deserved an equally loud gift in return. You know, to torture my brother and G. (and this is where you think, a ha! this says more about me than HP.....)
Only, the problem is, they already gave her a bongo! And apparently cymbals are next! Plus they have at least one guitar around the house....crap, they LIKE noise! They welcome it!
So how in the world am I supposed to torture my brother and sister in law? Send books?
Pfft. Guess I'll have to jettison my elaborate fantasies of aural revenge, and just sent something HP would like. Where is the fun in that?
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Gifts
Have you ever noticed that the gift often tells more about the giver than the recipient?
To illustrate:
On Christmas eve, Monkey wore an adorable red corduroy dress with black scotties on it. A gift from Nana. On Christmas day, Monkey wore a scrumptious dress with a crinoline and matching red & green barrettes (with wee jingle bells!), also from Nana. And on Christmas day, Monkey opened up a present from Nana - an adorable jumpsuit with a velvet collar.
On Christmas eve, Monkey was allowed to "open" (and by this I mean gleefully shred the paper) one present from Grandma, a stuffed animal puppy dog that talks, plays songs, and chatters away when you press its nose, paw, belly, etc. On Christmas day, Monkey received another riotous, joyfully noisy present from Grandma, in the form of an electronic keyboard shaped like a kitty cat, complete with a microphone for impromptu karaoke sessions. Grandma also gave her a little yellow duck that quacks when squeezed.
Now, pop quiz:
Who do you think has a walk-in closet, and an annual shopping trip with the girlfriends to NYC?
Now, who do you think has kept a basket of toys in the front-hall closet, "just in case" a kid stopped by?
I bet you guessed correctly!
Now, to be fair - both are smashing dressers, and both love toys. Still, it makes me chuckle!
To illustrate:
On Christmas eve, Monkey wore an adorable red corduroy dress with black scotties on it. A gift from Nana. On Christmas day, Monkey wore a scrumptious dress with a crinoline and matching red & green barrettes (with wee jingle bells!), also from Nana. And on Christmas day, Monkey opened up a present from Nana - an adorable jumpsuit with a velvet collar.
On Christmas eve, Monkey was allowed to "open" (and by this I mean gleefully shred the paper) one present from Grandma, a stuffed animal puppy dog that talks, plays songs, and chatters away when you press its nose, paw, belly, etc. On Christmas day, Monkey received another riotous, joyfully noisy present from Grandma, in the form of an electronic keyboard shaped like a kitty cat, complete with a microphone for impromptu karaoke sessions. Grandma also gave her a little yellow duck that quacks when squeezed.
Now, pop quiz:
Who do you think has a walk-in closet, and an annual shopping trip with the girlfriends to NYC?
Now, who do you think has kept a basket of toys in the front-hall closet, "just in case" a kid stopped by?
I bet you guessed correctly!
Now, to be fair - both are smashing dressers, and both love toys. Still, it makes me chuckle!
'Andpa interrupted
My folks stayed with us for a week over Christmas. And we had fun.
We talked, we laughed, we cooked, we ate, we drank, we went out, we stayed in, and, we all spent time reading with Monkey on our lap. Everyone, that is, except 'Andpa.
Remember when I wrote about how Monkey was terrorized by the doctor and his stethoscope? Did I mention that after her appointment, she was scared of older white men, in their 60s with a beard that was gray/graying (like her doctor)? And did I also mention that 'Andpa looks like that? Yup, you know where this is going.
So....when Grandma and 'Andpa rolled in the door, Monkey was less than enthusiastic about 'Andpa. She eyed him warily and generally stayed about an arm's length away for the first day. Then, when 'Andpa brought out his digital Leica (in a beautiful silver and black case....just like a stethoscope) and snapped a few photos, Monkey's lip began to tremble and she was visibly afraid. The camera was put away, and Monkey settled down.
Days passed.
Eventually, the night before Grandma and 'Andpa were scheduled to leave, Monkey finally brought a book to 'Andpa and tried to climb into his lap.
Just as monkey settled in for a snuggle, her godmother walked in the room. Monkey leapt out of 'Andpa's lap and ran to get a hug. And that was it. No lap time, no reading, no snuggling. I think my father felt cheated by fate.
The only solution? Yup, more time together. Once 'Andpa and Grandma finish their whirlwind tour of Tasmania and New Zealand, we'll have to plan the next visit. Without Monkey's godmother to interrupt!
We talked, we laughed, we cooked, we ate, we drank, we went out, we stayed in, and, we all spent time reading with Monkey on our lap. Everyone, that is, except 'Andpa.
Remember when I wrote about how Monkey was terrorized by the doctor and his stethoscope? Did I mention that after her appointment, she was scared of older white men, in their 60s with a beard that was gray/graying (like her doctor)? And did I also mention that 'Andpa looks like that? Yup, you know where this is going.
So....when Grandma and 'Andpa rolled in the door, Monkey was less than enthusiastic about 'Andpa. She eyed him warily and generally stayed about an arm's length away for the first day. Then, when 'Andpa brought out his digital Leica (in a beautiful silver and black case....just like a stethoscope) and snapped a few photos, Monkey's lip began to tremble and she was visibly afraid. The camera was put away, and Monkey settled down.
Days passed.
Eventually, the night before Grandma and 'Andpa were scheduled to leave, Monkey finally brought a book to 'Andpa and tried to climb into his lap.
Just as monkey settled in for a snuggle, her godmother walked in the room. Monkey leapt out of 'Andpa's lap and ran to get a hug. And that was it. No lap time, no reading, no snuggling. I think my father felt cheated by fate.
The only solution? Yup, more time together. Once 'Andpa and Grandma finish their whirlwind tour of Tasmania and New Zealand, we'll have to plan the next visit. Without Monkey's godmother to interrupt!
Whoops!
One of my dear friends celebrated her birthday last month.
And, despite the fact that I sent Christmas/holiday cards to exactly 6 people, I actually went out and bought her a birthday card. Which I never sent.
Why? Because Monkey really really REALLY likes the card. It has taken naps with her, gone on errands with her, and generally become one of her favorite items. Yes, almost as beloved as Elmo.
Dear friend, my child absconded with your card. (oh dear, that's right up there with the "dog ate my homework" excuse....)
I had to send belated electronic birthday greetings instead! Oy, thank g*d for "whoops" messages we can send over email!
And, despite the fact that I sent Christmas/holiday cards to exactly 6 people, I actually went out and bought her a birthday card. Which I never sent.
Why? Because Monkey really really REALLY likes the card. It has taken naps with her, gone on errands with her, and generally become one of her favorite items. Yes, almost as beloved as Elmo.
Dear friend, my child absconded with your card. (oh dear, that's right up there with the "dog ate my homework" excuse....)
I had to send belated electronic birthday greetings instead! Oy, thank g*d for "whoops" messages we can send over email!
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
No, nyet, non, and my personal favorite - oh hell no!
Monkey is acquiring words with more speed now.
She has added eye, bottle, up, down, more, all done, and bubble to her repertoire.
I couldn't be prouder!
Unfortunately, she has also redoubled her use of the word "no."
When asked if she would like something (say, her favorite toy - Elmo), more likely than not she'll say "NO" and vigorously shake her head. And then stick out her hand for Elmo.
She has reached the infamous "land of no." Much like the land of the lotus-eaters, this isn't a stop you willingly make. Rather, it is a land through which you travel, praying it is a short trip and that the border guards will let you out when you get to the other side. Because every.little.thing is a battle! Let's put on your shoes...no. Let's have some lunch...no. Time for a bath....no. No, no, no, oh hell no. Sigh.
Unfortunately, as my mother happily reminds me, next up on Monkey's list of words will be "why"............and that, dear readers, will be a real pain! I can already see that one coming down the pike.....because Monkey's other single-favorite word? Yup, it is "dis" (aka "this" in toddler-speak) spoken with an inflection, often accompanied with a pointed finger, as she asks what something is, again and again and again.
Funny how after you've answered the question of "what's this?" twenty times in a row you get dumb.
That's a thing, that you know, um, does stuff.
She has added eye, bottle, up, down, more, all done, and bubble to her repertoire.
I couldn't be prouder!
Unfortunately, she has also redoubled her use of the word "no."
When asked if she would like something (say, her favorite toy - Elmo), more likely than not she'll say "NO" and vigorously shake her head. And then stick out her hand for Elmo.
She has reached the infamous "land of no." Much like the land of the lotus-eaters, this isn't a stop you willingly make. Rather, it is a land through which you travel, praying it is a short trip and that the border guards will let you out when you get to the other side. Because every.little.thing is a battle! Let's put on your shoes...no. Let's have some lunch...no. Time for a bath....no. No, no, no, oh hell no. Sigh.
Unfortunately, as my mother happily reminds me, next up on Monkey's list of words will be "why"............and that, dear readers, will be a real pain! I can already see that one coming down the pike.....because Monkey's other single-favorite word? Yup, it is "dis" (aka "this" in toddler-speak) spoken with an inflection, often accompanied with a pointed finger, as she asks what something is, again and again and again.
Funny how after you've answered the question of "what's this?" twenty times in a row you get dumb.
That's a thing, that you know, um, does stuff.
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