Monkey had her 3-year check up this morning and, if I hadn’t been there to assure the doctor otherwise, the pediatrician might have thought the kid was blind, deaf, mute and practically immobile, considering the pig-headed, mulish stubbornness she exhibited in her refusal to: (1) answer any questions, including what is your name; (2) exhibit any physical skills other than shrinking backwards; (3) acknowledge that the dreaded headphones on her ears were emitting a series of beeps; or (4) acknowledge that she could both see and identify the shapes on the wall in the vision test.
Now mind you that when she is NOT in the doctors office she is: (1) a freaking chatterbox that asks more questions that you can answer and engages in a running dialogue with her friends and/or toys, whomever is closest; (2) running and jumping and saying “mommy watch me do this trick” as she endangers my health with her fearless acrobatics on the playground; (3) able to overhear every single conversation and (bad) word we want her to miss; and (4) able to spot the smallest Elmo a million miles off and then beg for it (see #1, above).
Sigh.
She is the walking definition of stubborn.
Showing posts with label stethoscope. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stethoscope. Show all posts
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Oh, she made my day!
So Monkey is having a rough week. Fever since Monday, sent home from school tuesday, and yesterday she puked and had some seriously nasty diarrhea. (Grossest yet I've seen in two years, and let me tell you I've seen a lot. Phew)
Yet, through it all, she's been in a remarkably good mood. Seriously! If you didn't touch her head or the skin on her back and then wince from the searing heat, most of the time you wouldn't know she's sick!
Today I took her to the doctor to just make sure it was a virus, and that it wasn't anything worse. And it's a virus. But, while we were there we managed to squeeze in her 24 month wellness checkup, which means we don't have to go back next Monday! Part of the checkup is testing for lead, and the nurse couldn't find her artery/vein, and kept digging around with the needle under her skin. Monkey did break out in tears, but only after after 3 attempts with the needle...many adults would have whimpered after just one! I was very proud of her.
And, once she got a Nemo sticker, her tears dried up completely and she started smiling and laughing again. Oh - I almost forgot to mention that she didn't cry, wince, shudder or try to climb up my body when the doctor used the stethoscope on her - a serious first! She just watched it and tried to touch it! I was thrilled - that play stethoscope we have at home was totally worth the $12 I spent on it. One less toddler phobia to deal with - huzzah!
And, as if this exemplary behavior wasn't enough to make my heart swell with pride and joy, when we went to the drug store to get tylenol, do you know what Monkey said?
She said "I like babies." And I melted. Right then and there - they had to scrape me and my bump off the floor with a spatula.
A mom with a toddler and a baby in a doublestroller moved past us in Duane Reed and when I pointed out the baby to Monkey that's when she said it! Unprompted! I didn't even know she knew how to say "I like" anything!
I just love that kid.
Yet, through it all, she's been in a remarkably good mood. Seriously! If you didn't touch her head or the skin on her back and then wince from the searing heat, most of the time you wouldn't know she's sick!
Today I took her to the doctor to just make sure it was a virus, and that it wasn't anything worse. And it's a virus. But, while we were there we managed to squeeze in her 24 month wellness checkup, which means we don't have to go back next Monday! Part of the checkup is testing for lead, and the nurse couldn't find her artery/vein, and kept digging around with the needle under her skin. Monkey did break out in tears, but only after after 3 attempts with the needle...many adults would have whimpered after just one! I was very proud of her.
And, once she got a Nemo sticker, her tears dried up completely and she started smiling and laughing again. Oh - I almost forgot to mention that she didn't cry, wince, shudder or try to climb up my body when the doctor used the stethoscope on her - a serious first! She just watched it and tried to touch it! I was thrilled - that play stethoscope we have at home was totally worth the $12 I spent on it. One less toddler phobia to deal with - huzzah!
And, as if this exemplary behavior wasn't enough to make my heart swell with pride and joy, when we went to the drug store to get tylenol, do you know what Monkey said?
She said "I like babies." And I melted. Right then and there - they had to scrape me and my bump off the floor with a spatula.
A mom with a toddler and a baby in a doublestroller moved past us in Duane Reed and when I pointed out the baby to Monkey that's when she said it! Unprompted! I didn't even know she knew how to say "I like" anything!
I just love that kid.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Playing Catch Up
For the second time in the span of four weeks I got the stomach flu. I'm now 5 lbs lighter. I would rather gnaw off my arm than lose weight this way. And I still can't stomach (ha, pun intended. ok, so my humor's still off, too. shoot me) anything other than saltines, bread, and oatmeal. Can I get some cheese with my whine? Thanks. So, let's play catch up:
1) We have scheduled a haircut for Monkey. Nana will be in town on that day, so she is going to come with us to distract Monkey from the scary machinations of the stylist (because considering how much she luuuuuuvs the stethoscope, I'm guessing she will also detest scissors). I will be capturing this blessed event on film. I think I need a before and after, to demonstrate just how freakishly long her hair is! Seriously, it is down past the middle of her back!
2) Monkey is not a fan of cinnamon. How do I know this? Um, well, errr.....let's just say that the garbage lid was open and resting on top of all the other detritus was a piece of well-chewed cinnamon trident. And leave it at that. Ahem.
3) M is a super star. After tending to Monkey and feeding me sprite for two days (plus tending to Monkey when I was in my photography class last night), he is tuckered out. But he's also Monkey's favorite. This morning I picked her up out of the crib and she didn't even bother to say "hello" before she started hollering for daddy. Awww.
4) Monkey's favorite word continues to be "robot." This makes me giggle. She was hollering it over and over this morning as she dug through the bucket of flashcards (strewing them about like she was threshing wheat, sigh) until she found the robot flashcard. Then, beaming with pride, she marched over to me and showed me the robot. This kid cracks me up!
And last, but certainly not least....
5) Dun dun dun..............Monkey USED THE POTTY! And we didn't even quite realize it! Yes, I know we collectively have two BAs, a JD, a PhD, a MS, and a CFA (we like school, shush!) but that doesn't mean we're, like, smart-smart. Here's the story: Monkey tugged at her diaper, so we asked her (on a lark) if she wanted to use the potty. She nodded yes, so M took her into the bathroom and helped her get her pants and diaper off. She sat on the potty. I wandered in at this point. And Monkey wanted toilet paper, to wipe herself. So I let her. She has done this before, imitating me, so I didn't think much of it. Her bath was running so in she went. And about a minute later I noticed that there was some liquid in the potty. I thought it was splashed bathwater! Until I poured it into the toilet for confirmation (yellow, yup it's pee!). Meanwhile we didn't even bother to congratulate her because we didn't know it was happening. Still, I am SO proud of her!
That's all I remember from the last few days. I'm sure I'll think of something interesting once I am not addled by lack of sleep and proper nutrition. Byeee!
1) We have scheduled a haircut for Monkey. Nana will be in town on that day, so she is going to come with us to distract Monkey from the scary machinations of the stylist (because considering how much she luuuuuuvs the stethoscope, I'm guessing she will also detest scissors). I will be capturing this blessed event on film. I think I need a before and after, to demonstrate just how freakishly long her hair is! Seriously, it is down past the middle of her back!
2) Monkey is not a fan of cinnamon. How do I know this? Um, well, errr.....let's just say that the garbage lid was open and resting on top of all the other detritus was a piece of well-chewed cinnamon trident. And leave it at that. Ahem.
3) M is a super star. After tending to Monkey and feeding me sprite for two days (plus tending to Monkey when I was in my photography class last night), he is tuckered out. But he's also Monkey's favorite. This morning I picked her up out of the crib and she didn't even bother to say "hello" before she started hollering for daddy. Awww.
4) Monkey's favorite word continues to be "robot." This makes me giggle. She was hollering it over and over this morning as she dug through the bucket of flashcards (strewing them about like she was threshing wheat, sigh) until she found the robot flashcard. Then, beaming with pride, she marched over to me and showed me the robot. This kid cracks me up!
And last, but certainly not least....
5) Dun dun dun..............Monkey USED THE POTTY! And we didn't even quite realize it! Yes, I know we collectively have two BAs, a JD, a PhD, a MS, and a CFA (we like school, shush!) but that doesn't mean we're, like, smart-smart. Here's the story: Monkey tugged at her diaper, so we asked her (on a lark) if she wanted to use the potty. She nodded yes, so M took her into the bathroom and helped her get her pants and diaper off. She sat on the potty. I wandered in at this point. And Monkey wanted toilet paper, to wipe herself. So I let her. She has done this before, imitating me, so I didn't think much of it. Her bath was running so in she went. And about a minute later I noticed that there was some liquid in the potty. I thought it was splashed bathwater! Until I poured it into the toilet for confirmation (yellow, yup it's pee!). Meanwhile we didn't even bother to congratulate her because we didn't know it was happening. Still, I am SO proud of her!
That's all I remember from the last few days. I'm sure I'll think of something interesting once I am not addled by lack of sleep and proper nutrition. Byeee!
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
'Andpa interrupted
My folks stayed with us for a week over Christmas. And we had fun.
We talked, we laughed, we cooked, we ate, we drank, we went out, we stayed in, and, we all spent time reading with Monkey on our lap. Everyone, that is, except 'Andpa.
Remember when I wrote about how Monkey was terrorized by the doctor and his stethoscope? Did I mention that after her appointment, she was scared of older white men, in their 60s with a beard that was gray/graying (like her doctor)? And did I also mention that 'Andpa looks like that? Yup, you know where this is going.
So....when Grandma and 'Andpa rolled in the door, Monkey was less than enthusiastic about 'Andpa. She eyed him warily and generally stayed about an arm's length away for the first day. Then, when 'Andpa brought out his digital Leica (in a beautiful silver and black case....just like a stethoscope) and snapped a few photos, Monkey's lip began to tremble and she was visibly afraid. The camera was put away, and Monkey settled down.
Days passed.
Eventually, the night before Grandma and 'Andpa were scheduled to leave, Monkey finally brought a book to 'Andpa and tried to climb into his lap.
Just as monkey settled in for a snuggle, her godmother walked in the room. Monkey leapt out of 'Andpa's lap and ran to get a hug. And that was it. No lap time, no reading, no snuggling. I think my father felt cheated by fate.
The only solution? Yup, more time together. Once 'Andpa and Grandma finish their whirlwind tour of Tasmania and New Zealand, we'll have to plan the next visit. Without Monkey's godmother to interrupt!
We talked, we laughed, we cooked, we ate, we drank, we went out, we stayed in, and, we all spent time reading with Monkey on our lap. Everyone, that is, except 'Andpa.
Remember when I wrote about how Monkey was terrorized by the doctor and his stethoscope? Did I mention that after her appointment, she was scared of older white men, in their 60s with a beard that was gray/graying (like her doctor)? And did I also mention that 'Andpa looks like that? Yup, you know where this is going.
So....when Grandma and 'Andpa rolled in the door, Monkey was less than enthusiastic about 'Andpa. She eyed him warily and generally stayed about an arm's length away for the first day. Then, when 'Andpa brought out his digital Leica (in a beautiful silver and black case....just like a stethoscope) and snapped a few photos, Monkey's lip began to tremble and she was visibly afraid. The camera was put away, and Monkey settled down.
Days passed.
Eventually, the night before Grandma and 'Andpa were scheduled to leave, Monkey finally brought a book to 'Andpa and tried to climb into his lap.
Just as monkey settled in for a snuggle, her godmother walked in the room. Monkey leapt out of 'Andpa's lap and ran to get a hug. And that was it. No lap time, no reading, no snuggling. I think my father felt cheated by fate.
The only solution? Yup, more time together. Once 'Andpa and Grandma finish their whirlwind tour of Tasmania and New Zealand, we'll have to plan the next visit. Without Monkey's godmother to interrupt!
Thursday, November 15, 2007
The dreaded stethoscope
Monkey's recent visit to the pediatrician did not go well.
Monkey was ok at first. Our nurse was kind, with a gentle presence, someone I'd trust to treat my child. But then she measured Monkey's head with a small measuring tape....which sent Monkey into paroxysms of fear. We had crying, shrieking, hyperventilation, trembling, and attempts to escape the nurse by climbing up my body and over my head.
So strange! Oh wait - what I had failed to notice (um, yeah, BAD move mom....) was that the nurse had a stethoscope slung around the back of her neck. So it was right in Monkey's face when the nurse tried to measure her head.
It went downhill from there. And then it got worse. The doctor came in... and actually had to listen to Monkey's chest with the infernal stethoscope. I was rendered partially deaf in my left ear, due to close proximity to Monkey's mouth and the screams emitted therein. Ouch.
Scrapes on my belly from Monkey trying to climb over my head? Check.
Ringing in the ears? Check.
Incredible sadness that I can't protect Monkey from an irrational fear? Check.
Embarrasing mom moment? Erm, check.
See, I felt compelled to state that Monkey is "normally a charming child" to a young intern shadowing our doctor. Like.. she....cares........
Monkey was ok at first. Our nurse was kind, with a gentle presence, someone I'd trust to treat my child. But then she measured Monkey's head with a small measuring tape....which sent Monkey into paroxysms of fear. We had crying, shrieking, hyperventilation, trembling, and attempts to escape the nurse by climbing up my body and over my head.
So strange! Oh wait - what I had failed to notice (um, yeah, BAD move mom....) was that the nurse had a stethoscope slung around the back of her neck. So it was right in Monkey's face when the nurse tried to measure her head.
It went downhill from there. And then it got worse. The doctor came in... and actually had to listen to Monkey's chest with the infernal stethoscope. I was rendered partially deaf in my left ear, due to close proximity to Monkey's mouth and the screams emitted therein. Ouch.
Scrapes on my belly from Monkey trying to climb over my head? Check.
Ringing in the ears? Check.
Incredible sadness that I can't protect Monkey from an irrational fear? Check.
Embarrasing mom moment? Erm, check.
See, I felt compelled to state that Monkey is "normally a charming child" to a young intern shadowing our doctor. Like.. she....cares........
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Some observations from the mother of an insane toddler....
For the record? I love my daughter. In fact, love is a weak word to describe my feelings towards her.
However, sometimes I have to just laugh.....here is why (at least this week):
1) The pacifier is now known as the "nuclear option" (as in, when she goes nuclear...). It used to be affectionately known as the "mute button" before we learned that Monkey's wails were loud enough to peel paint off the walls while simultaneously piercing eardrums. Why the wailing? See items 2, 4, 5 and 6, below.
2) The only acceptable food groups for Monkey include: a) cheerios; b) fruit; c) fake crab; and d) cookies. All other food/food groups are suspicious and must be licked with a wrinkled nose before potential rejection. Also, all foods must now be transported into Monkey's mouth by her hands, and her hands only. Spoons and sporks are to be rejected or recycled as weapons of mess and destruction. Ok, busted - you're right, I'm exaggerating: she will also happily ingest any random tidbits of cheerios, fruit, dust, paper or other delicious detritus she finds on the ground.
3) Monkey loves to walk, fast, and if at all possible will reject the offer of a helping hand to balance her or otherwise slow her down. Added to her "suicide gene," which prompts her to head right into traffic/towards danger, this means that we are constantly scurrying around half-bent over, keeping her out of harm's way.
4) Never the less, she manages to find harm's way. Yesterday, while at the park, within arm's reach of mom, dad, nana and granddad, Monkey bent at the waist to inspect the laces on her new sneakers. She stood there, gravely inspecting the laces when...she fell forward. Face plant. She has a faint pattern of scratches/bruises on her forehead that looksexactly like the asphalt. Just in time to go to school this Thursday.
5) Speaking of school, Monkey's lead teacher from montessori daycare/preschool came to our apartment this past Friday to meet Monkey. I was all set to comb Monkey's hair into pigtails, and put her in a smashingly-cute (or at least clean) outfit to make a good impression. So of course, not 30 minutes before the teacher arrived, Monkey was toddling past a speaker and wiped out, bashing her face on the edge. Although she was no longer sobbing when the teacher arrived, her hair was uncombed, she was still in her pj's smeared with breakfast, and her eye had puffed up sufficiently to prompt the teacher to ask if we wanted to reschedule so we could take her to the doctor/ER. Now that's what I'd call a memorable first impression.
6) Amidst the trauma and melodrama, some seriously funny behavior....Monkey adores her pediatrician but is woefully afraid of his stethoscope. Having it placed on her back caused her to shake, shriek, and sob for a good 10 minutes AFTER he hid the infernal device from her sight. So, being a good godmother and a good pediatrician, my cousin Heather brought over her own stethoscope to help Monkey with this phobia. At the sight of it, Monkey's eyes grew wide and her lip started to tremble in anticipation of tears. A compromise was reached and the stethoscope was nonchalantly hung on the back of a chair, while Monkey played on the other side of the table, out of sight. Perhaps 5 minutes passed, and then....Monkey tried to sneak up on the stethoscope! She crouched down low, put her hands out in front of her, and - with her eyes glued to the stethoscope to make sure it wasn't moving - she snuck around the edge of the table and another chair to take a peek at it!! My little huntress!!! Heather laughed so hard I thought she was going to fall out of her chair, and I had Elmer Fudd's voice running through my head ("Shh, be vewy vewy quiet, I'm hunting a wabbit..."). While this does not bode well for future doctor's appointments, we did discover that stringing the stethoscope through the handles to the china cabinet will stop Monkey from attempting to break through the babyproofing. Excellent (ab)use of a phobia, wouldn't you say? I thought so.
That's all for now. Stay tuned!
MamaCarter
(Editor's note - Monkey is fine, healing nicely, and that nasty speaker is now swaddled in foam...oh and Social Services has yet to appear, so apparently we're in the clear, for now....)
However, sometimes I have to just laugh.....here is why (at least this week):
1) The pacifier is now known as the "nuclear option" (as in, when she goes nuclear...). It used to be affectionately known as the "mute button" before we learned that Monkey's wails were loud enough to peel paint off the walls while simultaneously piercing eardrums. Why the wailing? See items 2, 4, 5 and 6, below.
2) The only acceptable food groups for Monkey include: a) cheerios; b) fruit; c) fake crab; and d) cookies. All other food/food groups are suspicious and must be licked with a wrinkled nose before potential rejection. Also, all foods must now be transported into Monkey's mouth by her hands, and her hands only. Spoons and sporks are to be rejected or recycled as weapons of mess and destruction. Ok, busted - you're right, I'm exaggerating: she will also happily ingest any random tidbits of cheerios, fruit, dust, paper or other delicious detritus she finds on the ground.
3) Monkey loves to walk, fast, and if at all possible will reject the offer of a helping hand to balance her or otherwise slow her down. Added to her "suicide gene," which prompts her to head right into traffic/towards danger, this means that we are constantly scurrying around half-bent over, keeping her out of harm's way.
4) Never the less, she manages to find harm's way. Yesterday, while at the park, within arm's reach of mom, dad, nana and granddad, Monkey bent at the waist to inspect the laces on her new sneakers. She stood there, gravely inspecting the laces when...she fell forward. Face plant. She has a faint pattern of scratches/bruises on her forehead that looks
5) Speaking of school, Monkey's lead teacher from montessori daycare/preschool came to our apartment this past Friday to meet Monkey. I was all set to comb Monkey's hair into pigtails, and put her in a smashingly-cute (or at least clean) outfit to make a good impression. So of course, not 30 minutes before the teacher arrived, Monkey was toddling past a speaker and wiped out, bashing her face on the edge. Although she was no longer sobbing when the teacher arrived, her hair was uncombed, she was still in her pj's smeared with breakfast, and her eye had puffed up sufficiently to prompt the teacher to ask if we wanted to reschedule so we could take her to the doctor/ER. Now that's what I'd call a memorable first impression.
6) Amidst the trauma and melodrama, some seriously funny behavior....Monkey adores her pediatrician but is woefully afraid of his stethoscope. Having it placed on her back caused her to shake, shriek, and sob for a good 10 minutes AFTER he hid the infernal device from her sight. So, being a good godmother and a good pediatrician, my cousin Heather brought over her own stethoscope to help Monkey with this phobia. At the sight of it, Monkey's eyes grew wide and her lip started to tremble in anticipation of tears. A compromise was reached and the stethoscope was nonchalantly hung on the back of a chair, while Monkey played on the other side of the table, out of sight. Perhaps 5 minutes passed, and then....Monkey tried to sneak up on the stethoscope! She crouched down low, put her hands out in front of her, and - with her eyes glued to the stethoscope to make sure it wasn't moving - she snuck around the edge of the table and another chair to take a peek at it!! My little huntress!!! Heather laughed so hard I thought she was going to fall out of her chair, and I had Elmer Fudd's voice running through my head ("Shh, be vewy vewy quiet, I'm hunting a wabbit..."). While this does not bode well for future doctor's appointments, we did discover that stringing the stethoscope through the handles to the china cabinet will stop Monkey from attempting to break through the babyproofing. Excellent (ab)use of a phobia, wouldn't you say? I thought so.
That's all for now. Stay tuned!
MamaCarter
(Editor's note - Monkey is fine, healing nicely, and that nasty speaker is now swaddled in foam...oh and Social Services has yet to appear, so apparently we're in the clear, for now....)
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