A future in politics...

Last week I busted Jellybean in the living room with a cracker. I scolded her, retrieved the cracker, and went back to preparing dinner.

Jellybean zoomed around in the kitchen a bit, and disappeared into the living room again.

A second later I followed for an unrelated matter, and found her - again - with a cracker in her hand. On our new chair.  Our. New. Clean. UNCRACKERED chair.

I walked up to her, and in the sternest of voices, admonished her. We do NOT eat in the living room.

Wherein she sweetly replied "I wasn't going to eat it, I was just putting it in my mouth."

Yeah, and Bill didn't inhale.

Smelly

What do flying fish roe, chocolate ice cream, and soy sauce have in common?

They are what Jellybean smells of right now.

CHOCOLATE!

Jellybean turns two soon. In 10 days to be precise. So Monkey and I keep talking to 'lil bean about her party. And she listens, and nods, and then....every single time.....hollers CHOCOLATE. I WANT CHOCOLATE.

I think we shall have chocolate for her birthday, don't you?

Meanwhile, I still get those annoying milestone emails, saying "your 23 month 3 week old child *might* be doing this....". A recent one commented that my child "might" be having an opinion on things. I about fell out of my chair laughing. That's like saying the pope "might" be Catholic.

Why yes, she's sitting on a cream carpet with red fingers...why do you ask?

I was going to call this white trash baby.....

Chowhound

Jellybean may be tiny, but watching her pound pizza is like watching that skinny kid win the hotdog eating contest on Coney Island. You can't imagine how her tiny stomach expands enough to hold it all!

Here's an action shot, catching a quick slice at one of our favorite neighborhood haunts.

An oenophile in the making?

Every time I read an article profiling an oenophile, there is something charming (yet still pretentious) about tasting each wine for its "terroir," which while it may technically refer to a a group of vineyards (or even vines) from the same region, belonging to a specific appellation, and sharing the same type of soil, weather conditions, grapes and wine making savoir-faire, which contribute to give its specific personality to the wine blah blah blah....really it makes me think you're tasting the wine for it's dirt.

Today, Jellybean was testing the terroir.....of the sandbox.

It was her first time experiencing sand. When I took off her shoes and plunked her down in the sand, she got this amazing wide-eyed look of wonder on her face, and she kept scrunching up her toes to push the sand around. Then she leaned down, patted the sand, looked at me with that same look of wonder, and laughed. Laughed and laughed and laughed.

She was in LOVE.

She toddled around the sandbox, scooping the sand up and offering it to other parents (strangers to her), chattering away with glee. She had many admirers by the time we were done.

She also tasted the sand. TWICE. (um, genius, you didn't like it the first time!)

But, in her defense, it was at each far end of the sandbox....so really, she was testing for its terroir. Right?

Right.

My foody

Jellybean continues to be an adventurous eater. Which is great!

Only, now I have to make twice as many brussel sprouts.....the stinker eats my share!

You win some, you lose some....

Tastes even bettah

Monkey is a 3 year old with VERY defined food preferences. As in, she'll eat any thing in the world, so long as it is:

rice
white bread
a hotdog bun
a hamburger bun
a frozen burrito
macaroni and cheese
grilled cheese
sliced (not whole, mind you) apples
chips
chocolate
water
and.....that's about it.

Jellybean, on the other hand, enjoys:

broccoli rabe with garlic
forest mushrooms and ricotta cheese pizza
tuna salad with onions and hot peppers
grilled green beans with salt and pepper
sloppy joes
and....
anything that has flavor!

M tells me he was a picky eater as a child. I remember begging for sushi when I got good grades in 4th grade. And asking for more wasabi.

I think that perhaps the kids take after their parents in more way than one....brown eyes and picky food = M. Blue eyes and flavorful food = me.

Let's see how long this lasts. (Jellybean might decide to eschew all flavor when she gets to be a picky 2 & 3 year old, too...only time will tell!).

Meanwhile, pass the broccoli rabe, baby!

Solidarity

I have a new mommy friend. She is a lovely, talented woman. And, like many of us, sometimes she struggles with the work-life balance.

We emailed back and forth the other day, and I made her laugh by asking her to leave a bread-crumb trail to wherever she locates "work-life" balance, as my map didn't have that location clearly marked.

Now I have high standards. Yes, you all nod. Fine, I have VERY high standards. I like to joke that I'm not anal, I just have standards (implying that others don't...). Because really, is it too much to expect that I can walk barefoot in my own home without food sticking to the bottom of my feet? I didn't think so.

But sometimes I realize that I am too tough on myself. I know my friends are, too. (tough on themselves, not me, that is!)

Gentle readers, do you think that the mythical creature known as "work-life balance" can be found? Is it really just an elaborate juggling act, keeping the balls in the air long enough to touch - ever so briefly - just one thing at a time? Because from what I've learned lately, multi-tasking slows you down.

Maybe the solution is just being "in the moment" - I know, that's so freaking zen I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. Ptooey.

But really, all jokes aside, maybe we should just try to be good at whatever the hell we're doing at that particular moment, and ignore the rest. Ignore the mommy guilt that is egging you on.

SO WHAT if the bed is unmade. No one but your prying neighbors need know. Hell, just buy better blinds so no one can see!

SO WHAT if the kids eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches every day, instead of lovingly prepared gourmet bento-boxes of organically raised whatever. Buy organic bread and soynut butter if you can, and be happy that they'll deign to eat anything at all! (picky toddlers are normal, from what I can tell. who knew! thought mine was just being - well, difficult!)

SO WHAT if the other kids on the bus have cute outfits on. Your kid's private bits are covered in clean clothing? Good enough. Besides, letting them pick out their own clothing encourages independence, leadership, and creativity.

All the mommies (and daddies, this isn't gender specific, although I DO think there is a thumb on the guilt scale for women) together now - raise your fist in the air! United in giving up the guilt? United in enjoying the moment instead of thinking about the kindegarten application-hell you'll be in if your kid doesn't get accepted to pre-k? (that last one's not just me, right?) United in enjoying this process, even if it's messy as hell and these damn kids didn't come with owner manuals? ALL RIGHT THEN!

ALl right then. Solidarity. We're all in this together.

Now, can anyone find that bread crumb trail?

Vitals

Each girl had a check up recently. Jellybean for the 9month mark, and Monkey for three years (gulp - how did that go by so fast?).

Jellybean:
*In great health.
*Eating well and on track developmentally.
*Can add more foods to her repertoire of items to cram in her mouth.
*Weight: 15lbs 4oz, OMG about the 7th percentile - woohoo!!!!
*Height: 27” so about the 30th% in height.

Monkey:
*Mulish and stubborn but in great health (as far as we can tell - see below)..
*May be deaf - refused to do hearing test (can hear just fine, NO REALLY)
*May be blind - refused to do vision test (SAME).
*Weight: 30lbs so in the 25-50%
*Height: 37.5inches so the 50-75%

But those are just their vital statistics.

You ask their parents, or their grandparents (or godparents)? They're perfect. The end.

The Competition's (h)eating up

Well, so far, Jellybean's little cousin B (born to my brother and his beautiful wife G in early April), is totally kicking ass and taking names. This is a recent photo of her. Isn't she a beauty?

At B's two month checkup yesterday, she weighed in at 12 lbs and some ounces, and 24 inches long.

A Jellybean's six month checkup, she weighed in at 12 lbs 8 ounces, and 24.75 inches long.

Um, yeah. They are pretty much exactly the same size. THE SAME! Wow. I mean, seriously. Are they feeding B foie gras and clotted cream already?

If this keeps up there is NO WAY that Jellybean is going to win the hotdog eating contests at future gatherings of the cousins.

Still teensy

So Jellybean had her 6 month check up this morning. And she's still tiny. But taller!

She's now in the 25% for height. That's MUCH taller than she was before!

But only the 3% for weight. (She used to be in the 3-5%, so she's dropped. If she drops any more she's off the chart. Eek.)

Doctors orders are three square meals a day. Solids, that is. And as much formula as she will take.

So, bring on the pureed veggies, mmmmmmmm. Yummy!

Again???

So the whole cookies for breakfast debacle began with a gesture of kindness. M got up a little earlier than usual and made old fashioned oatmeal for breakfast. Now, I just love oatmeal, but rarely do I have the time (or the patience) to make that in the morning. I'm too busy trying to remember to put my underwear on right to be bothered with a hot meal. Therefore, when M does this I am thrilled. It's such a simple gesture, but it makes my day.

Monkey has enjoyed this oatmeal before, asking for more of either my bowl or M's bowl. So, logically (whoops, our first mistake) assuming Monkey would want her own bowl, M served it up. I added honey and raisins, and Monkey went ballistic.

M attempted to entice her into taking a bite - just a bite - by explaining it was like an oatmeal cookie in her bowl. And that's when it started, the begging, the pleading, the crying and wailing.....because in the cupboard, just a few feet away, were the tasty oatmeal cookies Monkey had made with Nana. Now that daddy had said the "c" word (cookie, people! get your mind out of the gutter!) word, all bets were off.

Despite all the drama, and M’s and my laughter at the theatrics, I decided to include a cookie in her lunch bag. Because after all, who wouldn’t want a homemade cookie for lunch, right?

Of course when we got to school, Monkey continued to insist on eating her cookie RIGHT THEN. At one point in time she was laying on the floor, crying and trying to writhe her way to freedom with the cookie in her hand (to no avail - I can walk faster than she can writhe. But it was a sight to see!). And the cookie went back into her lunch bag.

That evening, when I picked Monkey up from school, one of her teachers told me a story about lunchtime: when Monkey opened up her lunch she immediately pulled the cookie out. Turning, she looked at her teacher and asked “Can I have the cookie now? Or is mommy going to say no AGAIN?

Can't you just see that eye roll?

Top o' the morning to ya

Monkey had a serious case of the grumples on the way to school this morning.

This is the face I got when I explained for the 10000th time that no, she could not have cookies for breakfast.

Her face perfectly telegraphs her disgust at my laughter (because I was, indeed, laughing at her!).....

ah, the joys of motherhood.

Pepperbuns

No, that isn't Monkey's new nickname, or even her pornstar name (which, btw, would stink - she'd be Miss Oliver Street. Mine is a wee bit better, I'm Puff Holdridge...but I digress). No, pepperbuns is Monkey's new culinary concoction.

Let me start out by explaining that she is a true toddler with idiosyncratic dining preferences:

She LOVES biryani. But, she refuses to eat macaroni and cheese. She loves frozen waffles for breakfast. But, only if they are still frozen.

Like I said, she's a toddler.

However last night was a new one, even for her.

M came home from work and was eating dinner. Monkey, post-bath, wanted to join Daddy at the table and eat a hotdog bun (aka one of her favorite foods on earth). And, since she is a reliable mimic, she wanted to do what Daddy was doing and put freshly ground pepper on her food, too. So she did. She used the pepper mill and put WAY too much pepper on her bun. And ate it.

Ta dah! Pepperbuns. Um - eeeuw.

Ten bucks says I could get her to eat it again, tonight.

Hmmm, that wasn't what we meant

Monkey is a creative little bugger. My parents always joked that if you want to know how to do everything, hire a teenager because they think they have all the answers. I think a reasonable addendum is if you need a negotiator, use a toddler. Lord, they work hard to get what they want!

The other night we were eating fish and chips (baked french fries) for dinner. Monkey ate all of her chips and two bites of her fish...and then wanted more chips. Of course.

So the haggling began. You know the drill - no more X until you do Y, yadda yadda. But Monkey resisted. She did not want to eat any more fish. So she'd ask again. She even sweetened the pot by tacking on the "puhleeze" without being reminded. Alas, her parents were stubborn and refused to give in.

So she switched tactics. She turned to me with her gorgeous doe-eyes, batting her long lashes, and with a sweet sweet smile she asked, in dulcet tones, if we could "share." Lord almighty, we about leaped out of our chairs with pride! Sharing!

But then - ahem - she offered her fish to ME and asked for my chips in return.

Oh.

Stay at home moms & dads, I salute you

Yesterday was MLK day, so Monkey's school was closed. M had to go to work, so I was home with the two girls all day long. And, since Jellybean is still not allowed into crowds....we spent the entire day in the apartment. We did not leave. We did NOT get to go out and play in the gorgeous snow. We DID get cabin fever.

But, we also had a lot of fun.

The morning was spent making cupcakes. Now, more batter ended up on the floor, the walls, and in Monkey's stomach than in the cupcake pans...but it was a success.

Then, naptime! And that wasn't a success. Monkey managed to spend over two hours in her room before she closed her eyes and finally, finally fell asleep. She was channeling the Beastie Boys.....you know, NO SLEEP TIL BROOKLYN and YOU GOTTA FIGHT, FOR THE RIGHT, To PARTY.....................trust me.

But eventually she slept.

And then, post-nap, her friend Daniel came over. Now, Daniel is Monkey's oldest friend. We met his parents in our birthing class. And Daniel is a lovely, well mannered and enjoyable kid. (His parents are awesome, too).

Daniel and Monkey shrieked and giggled and tore the apartment apart.....forts were built, cupcakes were consumed, and everyone had a blast.

M came home from soccor last night and put me to bed. I didn't get to nap with all the chaos and caring for both Monkey and Jellybean (during the brief time that Monkey slept, Jellybean ate....so no nap) so I was beyond tired. But this was an honest tired.

I was exhausted from having so much fun. And boy, am I impressed at all the parents and caregivers that are at home all the time. You guys work HARD!

So much to say

Hmmmm, so apparently a week has blown by and I haven't posted a thing. Man, you'd think I was busy with a one month old or something, wouldn't you! heh.

So, Jellybean is officially a porker. Well, as much of a porker she can be, given that she was born at and continues to be in the 10-20% range of height and weight. But she has a double chin! And she's grown well over an inch! Enough to actually outgrow her very first outfit. And did I mention she's perfect? And no I AM NOT BIASED how dare you think that?

Last night Heather was over and doing a fantastic job of spoiling me (homemade manicotti for my birthday dinner) and an even more fantastic job of keeping Jellybean awake...and she was commenting on the double chin. What is is about babies that make their double chins so damn cute? Seriously! I mean, fast forward even 3 years and it no longer looks good! (and let me tell you, I see enough double chins on kids to make me sad.....Harlem has a serious epidemic of childhood (and adult) obesity. But I digress.)

Monkey continues to rock as a big sister. She adores Jellybean and only occasionally loses her shit when she can't sit in my lap at the PRECISE moment that I am nursing Jellybean. You know, because that is when she NEEDS mommy. Not when my lap and hands are free....naw, that would be too easy.

OK got to go. Jellybean's grunting and groaning and kvetching has escalated.

MMM, tasty

What is it about Christmas that brings out the child in us? I think that yesterday I ate my bodyweight in homemade cookies (thanks Nana!), hard candy, frango mints, etc. etc. etc. Heck of a way to lose the baby fat but....oh...it was soooooo good!

We had a wonderful Christmas. It was just - the best.

Monkey was hilarious. She had so many presents that by the end of the day we were actually imploring her to open the rest of them. Since she had helped open everyone else's presents she was had present-fatigue. Who knew that could even exist! We all resolved to be more judicious in giving her presents next year. (ten bucks the grandparents can't do it! grandparents are awesome....)

Meanwhile Jellybean continued to pig out, too. She's doing a good job of her job of eating, sleeping and pooping. Way to go kid! We still don't know what color her eyes will be....yes, it takes a few weeks, but I can't resist holding her face to the light and peering into her beautiful eyes to try and figure it out! They started out with that newborn blue haze, but now are grey. She has a chance of blue eyes since M's mom (Nana) has blue eyes, as do I, but we shall see....

My little brother and his wife G continue with the awesome (OH YOU ARE SUCH SHITS YOU TWO!) presents to Monkey. This time? BONGOS! My neighbors are sooo going to hate me.

Piglet

So Monkey has recovered from the stomach flu. But now suffers from teething, a cold, and being two. Phew. Did I mention the being two part?

Meanwhile, Jellybean visited the pediatrician (again) to be visually inspected for jaundice and weighed. Her color looks good, and we're supposed to keep up the light exposure. And for the record, the pediatrician actually recommended that I nurse in front of the windows with the blinds up to expose her to as much sun as possible....so neighbors? I apologize for the gratuitous nudity....and yeah, these are my boobs, and um, well enjoy the sights!

Jellybean is putting on weight at a nice clip. She's now exceeded her birth weight and put on 10 ounces in the last four days. PIGLET! Yesterday she was eating with such gusto that M asked if she wanted some bbq sauce to go with it....it was funnier at the time than it sounds now. Trust me. Seriously. (Ok, so if you are sleep deprived it is hilarious!!!!)

Well, off to watch Wall*E for the 15,899,203rd time. Monkey got it for Christmas and it has saved my bacon (and sanity) quite a few times these past two days, while she's been sick and moping about the couch.